I wanted to go for a new look, but alas here is the same us! Welcome to STOOL HATS DIGEST, the SHP Newsletter!
From Tha Desk
want to thank you all for the constant support and love for this project, even as I have time and time again failed to deliver on its development. I have been working on a brand new interface that I started on back in the Spring. I liked the idea of expanding SHD beyond the newsletter format and including more images and graphics in the mix. From there, the concept of transitioning into a magazine. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get that version of the website live in time for this release. Still, I will be doing so in the near future and will share with you all when it is done. To that, I give me deepest apologies, but just know that things are in the works! Now, without further ado, the summer 2026 edition of Stool Hats Digest!
2026 Wii Bowling World Championship
On May 3, Wii Bowling extraordinaire Stool Hat Chiv once again faced off against defending champion Bear Tamer Krym in a head-to-head best of 7 match to determine who will be this season’s last man bowling.
Anxiety was high in the Krymadome that fine Sunday afternoon as both players took their places, picked their Miis, and launched into what would become one of the most fantastical displays of Wii Bowling prowess ever to be seen. The result? An unprecedented 4-0 sweep by none other than SHP’s very own Duke of the Seas, Bear Tamer Krym. As if a shutdown like that wasn’t enough, his Game 4 performance shocked the masses when the Bear Father himself scored a record-smashing 278 points, which consisted of an unprecedented 8 strikes in a row and 11 strikes overall, with only the 4th frame falling short with a 8/2 spare. Truly a debate ending win for the now 2x World Champ.
The Family Experience
On June 13, 3 Stool Hats, along with a few close associates of the crew, ventured into Times Square to attend the Family Guy Experience, a limited time event that promised to allow attendees to step into the world of Quahog and visit all the most popular spots, including the Griffin home and the Drunken Clam.
The consensus was overwhelmingly negative. In a word, it sucked. It was so devoid any type of or care for Family Guy and its fans that even writing about it feels like more effort than it deserves. That said, enjoy some of the photos of the crew trying to make the most of a bad situation.
Stool Hat Pirates Designs
In alignment with the goal of increasing SHD’s multimedia presence, I implore you to take a look at these AI-generated concept designs of the Stool Hats. Vote on your favorite — the winner will be announced in the next issue!
The Bleach Movie
Prior to the release of its new season this month, Bleach: Thousand-Year Blood War held a limited theatrical run of 3 of the episodes in late June. In preparation, at the behest of Blacklung Stoli, Stool Hat Chiv took up the mighty task of reading the entirety of Bleach in just under a month, such that he may attend a 6/30 screening of the compilation with Stoli and Dylan. Though he felt short of this goal by under a hundred chapters, this was the only the beginning of the troubled events that cumulated in what can only be referred to as The Bleach Movie Disappointment.
To truly understand the scope of the let-down, it should first be understood that, due to its limited release, Bleach: Thousand-Year Blood War — The Calamity was not eligible to be redeemed as a movie reservation through AMC’s A-List membership program, meaning even those with such membership (including Chiv and Dylan) were required to pay $20 just to attend the viewing. Additionally, there is a taped interview with series creator Tite Kubo which plays after the conclusion of the 3rd episode and lasts a little over 20 minutes. For those of you playing along at home, yes, that is $20 to watch less than 60 minutes of actual anime content roughly 1 month before its official release on Hulu. To make matters worse, Stoli was stuck in Florida with a foot injury, despite having made the plan in the first place, leaving only Dylan and Chiv to face the disappointment alone.
With all of that said, all-in-all, it wasn’t that bad. They parts of the movie that were actual content was really good and looked great, plus they got to grab some Bonchon afterwards. 8/10 would never do again.
The Bear Tamer Deck
For all you MTG fans out there, here is a deck list for a bear-themed deck perfect for Bear Tamers everywhere!
- 4 Ayula, Queen Among Bears
- 4 Ashcoat Bear
- 4 Werebear 4 Mother Bear
- 4 Striped Bears
- 3 Goreclaw, Terror of Qal Sisma
- 2 Owlbear
- 4 Prey Upon
- 4 Rancor
- 3 Ayula’s Influence
The Bullshit Report
- Oz Well has been performing incredibly recently, with some even calling it the next “Schleemin”
- Keving, as well as Brying are still going strong.
- Mims is a newbie showing a lot of promise.
- Actuallehh is carrying certain sectors across the market.
Advice from the Bear Tamer
“Issac Newton invented gravity cause some asshole hit him over the head with an apple.