Welcome to another issue of STOOL HATS DIGEST, the weekly SHP newsletter! Continue reading for stories on Dune: Part Two, The Bed-Stuy Mc, and SHP’s debut EP “DAYZ B4 STOOLHATS”
Dune: Part Two
On Wednesday evening, Chiv and Stoli attended an IMAX screening of Dune: Part Two, starring Zendaya and Timothee Chalamet. While Stoli had already experienced the movie, it was Chiv’s first viewing. Both SHs agree that the movie is incredible and a must-watch in the IMAX format. The two were heard screaming “LISAN AL-GAIB” in the parking lot of the movie theater.
Prior to the showing, the underutilized duo met up with Kevin, who was sitting alone in the parking lot while he waited for his partner to get out of class. Upon the show’s start time, the group split off. Kevin made a reappearance halfway through the showing where he ruthlessly and carelessly stole handicapped seating from those who needed it.
“The Mc”
In the early hours of Thursday, Stoli, Chiv, Dylan, and Kevin stopped at a Brooklyn McDonald’s with intentions to hit a quick studio session after. It was at this moment that Dylan unleashed the infectious phrase that is “The Mc”. Kevin quickly picked up, noting: “Dylan loves the Mc”. On first run of the drive-thru, the Bed-Stuy establishment left out Stoli’s chicken nuggets and Chiv’s beverage, so that gang spun around again and collected their missing items. Overall a very successful trip. The next night, the group returned to the same McDonald’s, prompting Kevin to say “The same Mc two days in a row is crazy”. He ordered anyway.
Stool Hats Studio Session
Due to time constraints, the NYC arm of the Stool Hats were unable to attend the studio after the Dune showing and Kevin suggested they all write verses and come back the next day to record. The gang agreed and the following night they returned to the studio with a vengeance.
The session started off slow until finally Chiv, Stoli, and Dylan decided to record what would become “song for the warrior”, a slow ballad about the missing piece to Brian’s nose (dubbed “The Nose Piece”) that was removed but never recovered after his surgery. After this, the energy was high. The group was able to record four other tracks, birthing the first complete musical project by the Stool Hats collective, much to Nick’s chagrin, who believed the entire idea was a waste of time. Inspired by Travis Scott, they chose the name “DAYZ B4 STOOLHATS” for the EP. While other contributions were made by Stoli (Track 5) and Chiv (Tracks 1, 4, 5 with production on track 3), Dylan came out swinging with performances on all five tracks, including a song of his own in track 2. Despite the idea being Kevin’s to begin with, he slept in the studio while the rest recorded. At 3:15am on Friday, the session was ended with Chiv taking home the songs to mix and master. On the unmixed version of track 3 (”Ramadan is Here”), Kevin said “Y’all really cooked”
Continue reading to find out more about DAYZ B4 STOOLHATS
DAYZ B4 STOOLHATS
Mixing on the EP was completed in the late afternoon on Friday as well as album art generation done by Dylan around that same time. Chiv then set up a listening party to take place at 8pm that night, with all artists, Kevin, Malik, and Brian to attend. Unexpectedly, appearances were made by Malik’s roommates, who thoroughly enjoyed the project. After the listening party, the album was officially released via WeTransfer download at 8:26pm. This release is limited, with downloads only available until 4/5 (see below for details)
Track 2, Dylan (under the moniker ‘Lil Krym’)’s “TEN TOES DOWN (BIG BEAR) was the breakout hit and was universally praised by just about every ear that heard it. Dylan was especially praised for his flow and delivery as well as his efficiency with writing lyrics in the studio while Chiv and Stoli worked on other tracks. On this recognition, Dylan said
“Honestly I couldn’t be much happier. This gives me a lot more confidence going forward and im excited to put out more music in the future. With this amount of love after only a couple hours of writing who knows what I can do if I really devote myself for a bit. Shout-out the rest of the nyc division of the stoolhatpirates everyone really delivered”
Due to this success, there are rumors of both a full Stool Hat Pirates album as well as a standalone Lil Krym EP to be in the works this summer
**Click here to download “DAYZ BEFORE STOOL HATS”. This link is only valid until 4/5/24, so make sure you grab it before that date.**
Bullshit Report
–The Mc has had a sudden and dramatic increase with no signs of stopping in the future.
–Ramadan is Here, which has consistently grown through the Islamic season has seen rapid growth since Friday’s release of the full “Ramadan is Here” song
-Despite previous reports, Drunk Kevin has seen a slight dip this week, though our analysts assume that it was simply overshadowed by the album release
Advice from the Bear Tamer
“It feels like everyone’s missing a piece nowadays, whether it’s the nose piece, a piece of their soul, or a piece of a double quarter pounder with cheese (no pickles) from the Mc”
WWritten by S.H.C.
Market Consultation by Duke Krym
Art by Bing Image Creator
”Stool Hats Digest” is a production of RINTERNET PUBLISHING, an internal division of PIRATE KING.
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