Try, try, and try again! Especially when you’re trying to stay consistent in publishing STOOL HATS DIGEST, the SHP Newsletter!
a message from the editors
First and foremost, we here at DIGEST want to thank you, the readers, for once again being so understanding and patient during our unplanned hiatus. We appreciate you always believing in us and our ability to pick back up where we left off. With that being said, this new edition of STOOL HATS DIGEST starts a new era, or rather, a new volume (Volume II) that comes with a few other changes as well. First and foremost, we will be changing the release schedule of SHD from weekly to monthly, allowing for more intricate stories to be written and published, as well as lowering the burden on us, the editors, and hopefully promoting consistency going forward. Secondly, we would like to open up the ability for you all the submit your own articles to be published each month, allowing for spotlights on the whole crew going forward. If you would like to submit an article of your own, send it in any format to [email protected] and we will make sure to include you! Once again, thank you for all of your patience and, without further ado, let’s begin Volume II!
TPK Takes on Twitch
In late July, professional procrastinator and fearless captain Chiv of the Stool Hat Pirates made the impulsive decision of starting up his own streaming career on Twitch. The streams were met with immense support from the entire crew and initially featured Chiv attempting to get to the Pro level on Wii Bowling. Subsequently, over the next few streams, other Stool Hats made varying appearances while Chiv played other Wii and PS1 games, as well as some segments where the Brian and Dylan joined him in playing Peak and World of Warcraft. Though these streams don’t have a regular schedule, Chiv has indicated his intention to continue streaming whenever possible and possibly expanding to full playthroughs in the very near future. If you’d like to tune in, you can find his streams at twitch.tv/PirateKingSHP.
Modded Peak: Baller or Blasphemy?
Only a few short months into Peak’s release, resident SHP warrior Brian has convinced much of the crew to begin installing mods to “enhance” the game’s experience. When questioned on why take this momentous step, even at the risk of soiling the games true genes, Brian had this to say:
“I like the hats”
It is, however, much more than hats, as modded Peak also allows for bigger lobbies, therefore allowing more than 4 people at a time to hop in the game and try and reach the top of the various mountain regions. Still, the hacked on additions to the game have received some backlash, namely from the Duke, who has said he feels that Peak modding simply to not match up to the modding of various games and is, for the most part, useless. As of right now, it’s a split difference on whether or not modded Peak will stick around, but until then, look out for Brian in his shiny straw hat in game.
The Adventures of Black Lung and the Stool Hat
While SHD was on sabbatical, Black Lung Stoli and Stool Hat Chiv, two titans in the SHP party, have completed the first four Halo installments, in Chiv’s first run at the game. This was done old school(ish), with IRL links and split screen play at Stoli’s apartment using a mod that was, for the most part, pretty functional. Due to varying factors, completing these four games did take some time, but it is an experience that some consider necessary to fully understanding the current landscape of gaming. That said, the runs were completely clean. There was occasional drinking challenges beared on the Bear Tamer, which resulted in at least one vomit canon being fired and one bottle of LeHennessey being finished. Additionally, the Covenant wasn’t the only major enemy to be battled during the Halo extravaganza, as the Sleep Demon made multiple appearances throughout various gaming nights, even knocking out Stool Hat Chiv on occasion as well. Overall though, it’s safe to say that it was a great experience for all involved and one that will never be forgotten by any.
Krym Goes Platinum
Way back in Issue #3 of DIGEST, it was revealed that the NYC arm of the Stool Hats hopped in the studio and recorded a short EP, DAYZ B4 STOOLHATS, which featured the breakout track by Duke Krym (credited as Lil Krym on the record) “TEN TOES DOWN (BIG BEAR)”. Since then, the talented Bear Tamer has spent many months working on his craft and recording multiple new songs. On talking with BTK about his rap career, he said “I think rapping is the most funny hobby ever”, showing his delight and entertainment with continuing to work on his music. It has been rumored that he may be working on a mixtape, not yet titled, to be released under FOR MYSELF RECORDINGS. It will feature the single “See Me Fail”, which, according to sources close to Krym, is “incredible”.
Bullshit Report
- Though originally underrated, Rocks has been trending upwards with extreme force recently, and it looks like it’s gonna stay for quite some time.
- Brying has proven itself to be a staple in the Bullshit market and continues to be one of the safest investments around. It saw a large jump a few weeks back, with Brian saying he would even legally change his name.
- “What he say” has been gaining strongly in certain sectors of the market and might be worth looking into for those who want to see large, fast returns.
Advice from the Bear Tamer
“Do whatever man have fun just try to learn from every situation you’re in”
Written by S.H.C.
Market Consultation by Duke Krym
Art by Bing Image Creator
”Stool Hats Digest” is published by RINTERNET PUBLISHING and officially licensed by the STOOL HAT PIRATES
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